Holding Space for Grief: Reflections on Loss, Healing, and the Holiday Season
The holidays have a way of amplifying everything—joy, connection, memories… and grief. For many of us, especially those who’ve experienced loss, this season can feel heavy in ways that are hard to explain. In a recent podcast episode, I took time to reflect honestly on my own journey with grief and loss, and how those experiences continue to shape my mental health, my work, and my understanding of healing.
Grief doesn’t show up neatly. It doesn’t follow a timeline. And it definitely doesn’t take a break just because the calendar says it’s time to celebrate.
Grief Hits Differently During the Holidays
There’s something about holidays that pull memories to the surface—people who used to be at the table, voices you expect to hear, traditions that feel incomplete. For me, grief has been especially present during this time of year, not always loud, but persistent. It shows up in moments of quiet, in pauses between conversations, and sometimes in unexpected emotional waves.
What often gets overlooked is how grief impacts mental health long after the initial loss. We’re taught—sometimes directly, sometimes culturally—to “push through,” to stay positive, to keep moving. But grief doesn’t respond well to being ignored.
The Black Community and Unspoken Grief
In the Black community, grief is often carried silently. We’re resilient by necessity. We show up. We handle business. We take care of everyone else. But too often, we don’t give ourselves permission to sit with our own pain.
That silence can be costly.
Unprocessed grief can show up as irritability, emotional numbness, burnout, anxiety, or depression. And during the holidays, when expectations for happiness are high, that internal conflict can become even heavier.
Acknowledging grief isn’t weakness—it’s honesty. And honesty is the first step toward healing.
You Can Hold Grief and Hope at the Same Time
One of the hardest tensions to navigate is the pressure to stay positive while carrying real loss. There’s a misconception that healing means “moving on” or no longer feeling the pain. That’s not how it works.
Healing is learning how to hold grief and hope at the same time.
You can miss someone deeply and still find moments of joy. You can feel sadness and gratitude in the same breath. Giving yourself permission to experience both is not only healthy—it’s human.
Creating Space for Healing Starts With Awareness
Self-care isn’t always about spa days or time off. Sometimes it’s about checking in with yourself and asking honest questions:
What am I actually feeling right now?
What’s being triggered in this season?
What do I need—rest, connection, space, or support?
Understanding your emotional state matters. Naming what’s happening internally helps prevent grief from quietly turning into something heavier.
Healing also requires space—safe spaces to talk, reflect, and be real. Whether that’s therapy, trusted relationships, journaling, faith, or community, you don’t have to carry grief alone.
Final Thoughts
Grief doesn’t make you broken. It makes you human.
If the holidays feel heavy this year, know that you’re not failing—you’re processing. And that work matters. Creating space for your emotions, honoring your loss, and caring for your mental health isn’t something to rush. It’s something to respect.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning how to live fully while still honoring what—and who—you’ve lost.
If this season finds you navigating grief, be gentle with yourself. That, too, is part of the work.